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Faith and Inspiration

How to be your cat's best friend


"Oh, don't worry, Bob, just grab hold of him; he won't hurt you!"  If a friend says something like this to you, it would probably be a good thing for you to re-evaluate the friendship. 

Several times in my existence, I have heard those words and invariably ended up with less hide than I had when I started. Therefore, I have a very healthy respect for any animal that has crawled into a sewer line or climbed a tall tree.

When a cat is located up on the top of a tree, the first reaction is for folks to run to call the fire department. After all, as everyone knows, "if Sweetykins is left up there in the top of the mean wicked tree, our darling wittle kitty witty will starve to death!

 A friend of mine, we'll call him Larry, is possessed by a very large yellow tom cat appropriately named 'Beast'.  A much-loved pet, Beast can get away with almost anything.  "Oh, look dear, Beast has just torn up your favorite down-filled pillow!  Isn't he cute?"

One day Beast climbed a large oak tree in Larry's front yard ending up about thirty feet in the top of the tree.

Beast was just having fun. After all, climbing trees is sort of what cats do. Yes, it’s definitely a cat thing.  He was not the least bit worried, but Larry was.  Larry was sure Beast would fall or not be able to get down and starve up there.

Left to their own devices, cats will get down the same way they went up, but they like attention, so when they get as high as they can go, they settle in and yowl and cry piteously. 

It should be understood that when a cat is in a tree and yowling and crying, especially piteously, it is not because they are frightened or hungry, oh no, absolutely not!  They yowl and cry because they want their owner to see their accomplishment.  "Hey boss, look at me.   I bet you didn't know I could climb this tree did you?"  Or they will say something like, "Hey boss, I bet you didn't know I could fly, did you?  Watch this, boss I am going to leap out of the tree now, Watch me fly!" 

It should be understood that this flying thing is just to get your attention.  I have never seen a cat jump when threatening to do so.

Upon hearing of Beast's threat to "jump," Larry, intent on rescuing his beloved pet, borrowed his neighbor's 18-foot extension ladder and started to climb.

Beast was really excited to see his boss climbing the ladder.  He thought that Larry was going to come up and join him so they could yowl together.
            Humans are such wonderful and easily manipulated creatures!

Keeping this picture in mind, I want you to consider what happens next.

Larry climbs the ladder.

Beast watches Larry.

Larry reaches the top of the ladder and begins to climb the tree.

Beast is concerned for Larry's safety. Obviously, Larry is not a good climber.

Larry reaches Beast and very carefully takes his wonderful and most beloved pet into his arms.

Beast is not sure of this.  As long as he had his feet on the tree, he was in control, and it was quite obvious to him that Larry was about to fall.

Larry shifts Beast to one arm and begins his descent.

Beast lives up to his name.  He says, "MEOWWW!"  which means, "What the heck are you doing, boss?  Don't you know you can kill us both?"  And yes, just in case you are wondering, he did say all of that with one "MEOWWW!"

(One must be very observant when a cat says meow.  A single "MEOWWW!"  can mean many things, everything from "I want to go outside!"  to "Feed me!"  and even, "Say boss, maybe your sense of smell ain't so good, but mine is, clean the litter box will you?"

With that single "MEOWWW!" Beast transformed himself into a feline buzz saw.   He bit Larry's hand, clawed his way to Larry's shoulder, over his head, and leaped gracefully out of the tree to land on his feet on the ground and finally dash through the cat flap into the kitchen to purringly begin eating.

If you will notice, cats always have their priorities straight.

Let's not forget Larry.  Larry was still up in the tree, dripping red stuff from a score of wounds and wondering what had happened.

Cats are such delightful pets, don’t you agree?

Cats, Faith, Inspiration, Charles Towne, Apopka