By Charles Towne
“To be fully seen by somebody, then, and be loved anyhow–this is a human offering that can border on miraculous.” - Elizabeth Gilbert
As Natalie (not her real name) related her story, it was obvious that she had given a lot of thought about what she was going to say.
She started out by saying that her marriage is an incredible combination of joy and frustration.
“There have been so many little things, like the way he holds me and makes me feel safe and secure; yes; so very safe and secure. And he will do a lot of little things, romantic things, like make the bed, and pin a love note to my pillow. And he leaves those love notes in places where I don’t expect them, like inside the refrigerator or taped to the sun visor in my car.
Yes, he makes me feel loved!
For a long time, though, I was frustrated because I wasn’t able to change him into the man I knew he could be.
It was at about the ten year mark that we realized that we were married to the person we were going to be married to.. for the rest of our lives!! This revelation came as quite a shock, especially understanding that we were both products of broken homes.
We had gone through the lusty years, when sex was the glue that held us together (those years lasted for several months); we entered the gusty years, when the storm clouds of matrimony seemed to threaten to blow us away; and then, the lusty times and the gusty times co-existed, and in fact, they are still there!
Then we spent an eternity learning to cope with each others' little (did I say little?) idiosyncrasies This was the real adjusting period where we harbored thoughts of divorce, or possibly murder.
So many people give up at this stage, when the relationship goes from dreamy-eyed to bleary-eyed, seemingly overnight. Or, put another way, it went from a little bit of heaven to the weed patch of Hell!
I went from thinking that I was married to an inconsiderate, smelly, unromantic ignoramus, to the point where KNEW that I was married to an inconsiderate, smelly, unromantic ignoramus; but seeing as he was mine, I was going to have to do something about it.
My choices were really not all that great:
I could divorce him...
or I could change his name to Fido and chain him in the back yard...
or I could love him.
And do you know what? The more I love him, the more lovable he becomes. And so do I!"
A prayer for those who love, and want to find love again
Please Lord, help me to concentrate on being what you want me to be. Yes, even changing me to be more lovable. On my own I can’t do it, but with You I can be what you intend. Thank you Father, and praise you. And Lord, thank you for this man / woman that I love so much! In Jesus wonderful name I ask it, Amen
Charles Towne is first and foremost a Christian. An octogenarian, author, journalist, wildlife photographer, naturalist, caregiver, and survivor, his life has been and continues to be, a never-ending adventure filled with possibilities never imagined. He has adopted the philosophy that to Live fully, laugh uproariously, love passionately, and learn like there is no tomorrow, is a formula for a long and joy-filled life.
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