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How to deal with the victim mentality


We've all met people who play the victim. They love waffling about their woes, and how the world has mistreated them.

Judy, Senior Manager at Trump Learning which provides the best mcat prep course, says victims never take responsibility for their own acts, even though they are the ones who begin the drama and keep stirring the pot. They refuse to accept that their actions lead to the adverse results in their lives. It can be emotionally exhausting to be near someone like this. They tend to gravitate toward people who listen like a therapist and want to become their cheerleader.

Bad things happen to us all. You could have had a parent die, become a victim of a crime, or been laid off, all of which are beyond your control. You don't have to own what happened as your fault. But you do have a choice on how you react to the situation.

So let’s get into some practical steps we can take when dealing with someone who perpetually plays the role of victim.

Realize that they have been doing this for a long time, and you cannot change who they are.

To understand this is vitally important. So many of us are good people and instinctively want to help. But someone with the victim mentality gets attached to a person so they can fulfill his or her needs. They get quick fixes that feel good for a moment, but then go back to the same place they were before. For example, they could ask for a dollar and you give them a million; in six months they will be back to ask you again for a dollar. They have latched onto the idea that they are the world's victim, and there is nothing anyone can do about that. Even when they strike good fortune, they will find a way to turn it into bad luck.

Nick, who offers to do my accounting homework services with TAE says, when you recognize that someone has a victim mentality, and understand no matter what they will continue in this vein, at least that is a beginning to understanding what you're really dealing with. It doesn't mean they will always have this attitude and manipulate others, but the first step in coping with someone like this is realizing that, at this point in their lives, they don't want to improve. This mentality is "working" for them for now, getting them what they want and filling a need they have.

Honor your own boundaries around them

Once I told my friend "No." when he asked for money. I made it clear to him that I would not get pulled into his problems, enabling him, or giving him a quick fix. I didn't actually use these terms, I just said "No". Immediately after I told him "No", I also shared how much I valued our friendship and shared that I never want to have any bad feelings between us. When someone owes you money and they haven't paid it back, it's uncomfortable to be around them, and you hate to bring it up every time. But if you don't, you never get paid. So to avoid that from happening, I just said "No" up front.

When you respect yourself, you'll stop being involved in a victim's drama. This will keep you at enough of a distance where you are not involved with their manipulations.

Ask “Why?”

Many self-perpetuating victims get a "why bother? "attitude because they think nothing can improve, so they will not try something different. You might want to ask them, "Why do you think that continues to happen to you?", following up with,"Has it ever happened before?". Lucky, an expert that students use to write my essay for me, says this follow-up question could help them remember a time before their victimhood started, and potentially help them recall a moment of their life that was not that bad.

If a victim has been through some difficult situations, they likely would need counseling. Therapy could be required to clean up some old belief systems they have had all their lives. They could still have a child's perspective on life if they haven't dealt with issues that arose during their childhood but never got dealt with. Which leads to the next question that could help them take the next step.

Ask “What is one thing you can change about your life now that will prevent this from happening again in the future?

This gives victims an opportunity to share what happens inside of them. Let them voice their emotions. Kelly, who works with TFTH and provides services like assignment help sydney says, when victims tap into what they believe is possible, they tap into what they need to cure themselves. It is a deeper place that they probably don't visit very much, so it's nice that they take a moment to interact with that part of themselves. When you think about what you can do to better your life, you are relating to a part of yourself that wants to improve. They can begin to identify those deeply rooted negative emotions when that happens.

There is a chance they will begin to see some possibilities for a brighter future when they start to dig deeper. It's a slim chance, but there's an opportunity opened. And when there is a chance, there is a glimmer of hope that wasn't there before.

Those with a victim mentality are often serial complainers. A persistent complainer needs an audience. Nick, who offers research paper writing service says, if you meet someone who sympathizes with you, you get the attention you want. This plays into their desires, and makes them feel listened to, so they'll do it even more.

A chronic complainer will wear you out. Soon you will get to the point that you can’t take anymore and will walk away. But the persistent complainer will need their next fix, so will keep searching for someone with patience to listen to them, and they'll start all over with them. A persistent complainer wants an audience, as John who works with EduWorldUSA, has remarked. They get the attention they want if they can find someone who sympathizes with them, which plays into their unhealthy cycle. They'll cry more to get more attention, and to them, the attention they get feels like a remedy and what they need.

The reality is, people will grow tired of the perpetual victim. The earlier you distance yourself from them, the better. Without professional help the chronic complainer, still needing their fix, will patiently keep searching until they find someone to start over with, someone who will give them the sympathy they crave.

Perspective, tips, Victim Mentality


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