Riding life's roller coasters into the new year

In the course of my chaplain visits at the local children’s hospital, I first acknowledge the patient and then address the parents, taking immediate cues from their faces. Sometimes, I see a very distinct look, and I ask: “It’s like being on a roller coast, isn’t it?” Quite often, I hear the response, “That’s exactly what it is!” 

Hospital families identify with the image of the roller coaster, with bumps and dips, with sloping hills and lower valleys, with high mountains and deep canyons. There are times of relative calm when the parents know it’s just a bump, and other times, they have to “hang on for dear life.”

My colleague, Rabbi Paul Kurland, tweaks the image of the roller coaster as he considers his own healing:

"For every life has ups and downs

That’s just the way it goes.

A roller coaster ride they say

A life that ebbs and flows.

I must admit that this ride turned

much more than those before.

But I’ll get through, I’ll overcome. 

I’ll heal and I’ll restore."

Roller coasters are not merely ups-and-downs. They include quick turns and unexpected twists that cast us to the side. Sometimes, it’s enough to make us feel nauseous!

In a follow-up conversation, Paul pointed out a possible monkey-wrench into that image with comedian Stephen Wright’s observation: for many, the most exciting part of the roller coaster ride is the way down. I think he has a point. It doesn’t seem to fit the imagery, certainly not one I would include in my comments to hospital families.

I shared the exchange with my favorite pediatrician, Dr. Nomi Sherwin, who thought for a moment, then fit Wright’s insight into the overall perspective. Yes, on the way down, people tend to scream. In retrospect, we see that, even on the scary parts, what makes the ride worthwhile is the others who are with us. 

In the hospital, families are able to endure the roller coaster because they are accompanied by nurses, physicians, techs, social workers, child-life specialists… even chaplains. Families and friends bolster the spirits with FaceTime calls and texts, anything that reminds patients and their families we are on the ride with them. 

In the Book of Exodus (3.14), God reveals the Divine Essence to Moses: Ehyeh-asher-Ehyeh ( אהיה אשר אהיה  ), commonly mistranslated as “I am that I am. More accurately, God’s Essence is “I will always be with you.” Just as I will accompany you through life, says God, so must you be with your people and teach them never to abandon each other. For only by being together will you endure the tribulations of life’s Egypts and navigate the sometimes-bumpy path leading to the Promised Land.

Life itself is a roller coaster with its ups and downs, the turns and twists, the times when the ride seems to lull us into calm, and the unseen motions that want to make us shout for joy or scream in fear. The experience of navigating life itself is strengthened and filled with meaning when we hold on to others who are right there on the ride at our side… and we are right there for them!

May each of us and all of us experience a smoother roller coaster ride into and through the New Year, strengthened by the awareness of those who remain at your side through the 366 days of 2024.