'Faint heart never won fair lady', an unfortunate truth for Roy

The Saga of Aunt Maggie, Part 2

By Charles Towne

You remember Roy, don’t you?

Well now, Roy has fallen in love with Aunt Maggie.

Yes, poor Roy.

You might wonder how any man in his right mind could, or would, fall in love with Aunt Maggie. I mean, this is the same little old Aunt Maggie from last week that beat the mushy stuffings out of a grizzly bear with a cast iron frying pan, sending that bear skeedaddling down the trail in terror! Stranger things have happened I suppose, but I just can’t think of any right now.

In Roy’s defense, if the truth be known, there weren’t a lot of available ladies living in the wilderness of Alaska at the time. And by all indications, Roy, being in his seventies, wasn’t getting any younger. Therefore, a female human of the advanced age of 87 was looking better to Roy each time he saw her, given that time was running out for both of them.

Now Roy wasn’t the most genteel fellow, and one day, as usual, he was feeling frisky and he just up and blurted out his proposal.

“Maggie, me dear old gal, lets get hitched, respectable like!”

Now, we should also remember that Aunt Maggie, having outlived three previous husbands, wasn’t really of the marrying frame of mind; but she had her an idea that might discourage Roy once and for all from his amorous advances.

“Roy, there is a lot to do if we are going to get married. First off, we have to find a preacher to marry us and make it legal and all. And there will be folks that need to be invited. Folks are funny about getting an invite to weddings and funerals and the like, so we needs to send out a bunch of invites. And we need to put up a lot of food for the wedding feast and all. And we are going to have to build on an addition to the cabin so folks have a place to sleep.”

Roy’s eyes were getting that glazed look to them as he thought of the preacher, and wedding invitations, and building on to the cabin, and all that stuff.

Just then, Aunt Maggie came up with yet another to-do before the I-dos.

“Roy, I am going to go hunting in the morning. Going to see if I can shoot a couple of deer so we have plenty of food for the wedding guests. While I am gone, you can start building on to the cabin, and in your spare time, you best start cutting a bunch of fire wood. We can’t let our guests get cold as that wouldn’t be hospitable!”

Roy had finally worn Aunt Maggie down, and she had actually said yes to his proposal of marriage; but was it worth it with all the work that needed doing?!

As the old saying goes, “Faint heart never won fair lady", or sweet little old woman for that matter.

Please climb aboard the matrimonial raft with Roy and his bride-to-be, Aunt Maggie, as they negotiate what can best be described as the somewhat murky waters of the swamp of romance.

Stay tuned!

This story is one of several fiction pieces The Apopka Voice will be publishing by local authors and favorites who enjoy creatively exploring this literary realm. To see more stories of this nature, enter "Fiction" in our site's search bar, and click on "Fiction & Creative Writing". If you would like to submit a fiction piece to be considered, and are local to Apopka, please submit your selection to editor@theapopkavoice.com.

Charles Towne, in his own words, is first and foremost a Christian. An octogenarian, author, journalist, wildlife photographer, naturalist, caregiver, and survivor, his life has been and continues to be, a never-ending adventure filled with possibilities never imagined. He has adopted the philosophy that to live fully, laugh uproariously, love passionately, and learn like there is no tomorrow, is a formula for a long and joy-filled life.