My thoughts have been pondering the incident that happened this week at the Northwest Recreational Facility that made national news. You see these types of incidents happening elsewhere, but it takes on a new meaning when it literally happens in your own town. A place where I’ve walked, taken sunset pictures, gone to concerts, school events or to see fireworks.
My thoughts are on the child, the 11-year-old boy who fired a shot at his Pop Warner teammates. According to the news the incident happened due to a dispute over a bag of chips. I find this hard to believe. The second news report stated the 11-year-old was being bullied. I saw the video where it shows the boy running to his mother’s car with his teammates running behind him and he gets the gun, turns around and fires at the boys.
What would make this 11-year-old boy feel like his last resort to stop whatever it was that made him feel like a gun was the last resort to solve his problem? First and foremost, the 11-year-old child was wrong. The mother was wrong and irresponsible for leaving a legal weapon in an unlocked box. And if the boy was being bullied the ones who were doing the bullying were wrong along with the parents and coaches who didn’t catch it before it even came to this.
I get it. My sons have played in all types of youth sports. It’s a hassle getting them to the game and practices. When the games and practices are over most parent congregate and talk while the kids do the same after congregating around the parent who was in charge of snacks that week. Honestly as a parent you can be oblivious to anything else like this happening because your defenses are down because you feel you are in a safe space, so you don’t look for anything suspicious or out of order.
But then again maybe I am not surprised.
While watching the city council meeting on YouTube I learned about the arguments and physical altercation from adults happening at that same field of fame over tennis court playing time.
Our kids are watching.
My point is this boy felt his last resort was to get his mother’s gun and shoot. Why?
The definition of last resort is “a final course of action, used only when all else has failed.” Did anyone know he was being bullied? Did he tell someone? If not, then why didn’t he feel comfortable telling anyone who could have brought it to light?
How do we prevent this from happening again? How do we reinforce the structural integrity of this generation where the last resort is eliminated and is no longer a thought or option?
Structural integrity is defined as an engineering field that helps ensure that either a structure or structural component is fit for purpose under normal operational conditions and is safe even should conditions exceed that of the original design. This includes supporting its own weight, aiming to prevent deformation, breaking and catastrophic failure throughout its predicted lifetime.
When a used structure is deemed salvageable the next steps is how do they reinforce it to ensure and prevent deformation, breaking and catastrophic failure throughout its predicted lifetime. I firmly believe that this child who shot his teammates and this generation can be saved and reinforced with the integrity that doesn’t result in harming another individual that desensitizes them to their actions and repercussions.
I believe the following can be applicable to this generation and most people.
What are the Causes of Structural Failure?
Structural failure can occur from a range of different sources. The type of failure is often associated with the industry, environment and application of the structure. The primary reasons for failure are as follows:
Weak structures
The structure is not strong enough to withstand the load to which it is subject. This is usually due to inappropriate geometric design or material choice.
Today’s kids are taught that strength is might. You have to be tough and fight fire with fire. If you don’t you are called soft) Dr. King would disagree that notion.
“Returning hate for hate multiplies hate, adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars. Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate, only love can do that.”
-MLK
Structural deterioration
The structure deteriorates due to corrosion, fatigue, wear, rot or creep. Fatigue failures often begin when cracks form at regions of high stress. These cracks grow when subject to cyclic loading, resulting in sudden failure. This is usually due to inappropriate geometric design, material choice or maintenance.
I grew up and was told that God sees all things and I believe that is true. But at number 2 is our kids. Our kids hear and see everything that we don’t intend for them to see. The consequences of this are that those same kids begin to emulate what they see their parents do. This is where and why a strong family foundation is needed, a community and church that backs up the family to install and reinforce the integrity to prevent structural deterioration in their moral character.
Manufacturing errors
This includes using the wrong materials or not following manufacturing procedures or standards. It can also result from poor workmanship or components being out of tolerance, etc
Parenting is paramount and should supersede over social media, political influence and kids parenting kids. Politics is everything are in everything. The people we support we wouldn’t trust to mentor or watch our kids but yet we allow them to pour into our kids while we are driving, (what are you listening too?) While we are at home. (What’s on your TV?) In the midst of the affliction He counsels, strengthens confirms, nourishes, and favors us.... Moreover, when we have repented, He instantly remits the sins as well as the punishments. In the same manner parents' ought to handle their children. -MLK
Defective material
The materials don't conform to standards, resulting in a lower load bearing capacity than designed. (See Miami building collapse)
Social media has its pluses but they along with politics shouldn’t be raising, impacting, imparting their ideology on our kids. Giving our kids a false sense of fortitude until that fortitude is challenged and crumbles and fails under pressure. What may work in California may not work in Florida or Delaware but may work in Oregon. It’s up to the parents to be parents to conform to standards that are child are able to bear certain things in life. And when they cannot, they ought to know that the parent is there to help carry that load.
Improper environmental considerations
Engineers may neglect mitigating features for certain environmental conditions, such as natural disasters.
There is no perfect receipt for parenting. We are always learning and striving to be the best parent for our children. A good parent wants their child to exceed what the parent has accomplished. We can’t allow our kids to hang with everyone or go over everyone’s house because it looks okay. We must be mindful of the environment we allow our child to visit.
Improper operational conditions
The structure is not used for its intended purpose. Our kids aren’t our best friends, buddy’s, BFFs, sounding boards, shoulders to cry on or our confidants. They are our kids and should be treated as such. Yes, they are more aware at their age then we were but at the end of the day they’re still kids.
The cure for conflicts starts with a conversation
It’s time for the parent to reengage, reassure, reaffirm, and reinforce to our children that it’s okay for them to come to the parent about anything big or small. The conversation evolves from fear or embarrassment to the child being comfortable in telling the parent how they really feel and what is going on at school, on the playground, in the neighborhood, on the bus and yes at practice.
The conversation becomes an application to be put into action
The foundation principles the child receives from the parent at home are now transferable by his or her actions to their peers. Speaking out and standing out instead of blending in or going with whatever is trending.
Our kids are watching what we do and what we say. They see us bullying online, in person, on the phone or behind someone’s back. They see our lack of respect and integrity towards and for others and they emulate us without repercussions. Now is the time for us to Reinforcing Structural Integrity in our children by eliminating the last resort.
“Children are great imitators. So, give them something great to imitate.”
— Anonymous.
Steve Coleman is a 10-year resident of Apopka and has worked at Walt Disney for nine and half years as a Telecom Mobility associate. Steve has been married to Yvette Coleman for 27 years, where they share four children. Steven, ElyJah, Elysha and Sarai. Steven also has an online ministry FaithWorks Church which ministers the gospel of Jesus Christ online and feeds the homeless in Apopka and the Orlando area. Steven is also known as Sunset Steve or the Sunset King for his love of shooting sunsets at Magnolia Park, Lake Apopka Wildlife Drive, and various locations around Central Florida. His work can be seen on IG and Facebook at Sunsetsbystevenj.
