Aunt Maggie and the Easter Bear

Maggie was her name. Margaret F. Moultrie, to be precise. But folks that knew her called her Aunt Maggie.

Now, I want you to understand that Maggie was not your average, run-of-the-mill, sweet little old lady. Huh uh. She was in her later, irascible eighties, stood about five feet tall, weighed something less than 110 pounds, and lived by herself in the Alaska bush.

That she was independent went without saying.

She pretty well lived off the land, shooting wild game for meat, cutting wood for fuel, and pretty well proving that she could fend for herself. Aunt Maggie had outlived three husbands and several relationships, but now she preferred her own company, at least for the most part. But she did have a boyfriend. A young buck by the name of Roy in his early seventies.

Roy lived in the town of Valdez. He preferred city life, but he and Maggie got together a couple of times a month to socialize.

However, as I already pointed out, Maggie preferred to live by herself for the most part. She claimed, with a laugh, mind you, that she had never lost an argument with herself! And when Roy got frisky and began clamoring for some kissing (and what Aunt Maggie called that “other stuff”!), she would set his belongings outside and send him packing back to town; after all, she wasn’t about to put up with any of his hanky-panky!

Yes. Aunt Maggie was quite the gal!

One bright Spring day - it was on Good Friday - Roy had outlasted his welcome again, and Aunt Maggie had chased his sorry behind off down the trail again.

Well, that night, Maggie woke from a deep sleep to hear somebody moving around in the kitchen. “Roy, what are you doing out there?” she hollered. “If you ever expect to see another new day, you’ll get yourself gone now. Ya' hear me!”

It got real quiet for a few minutes, and Maggie thought Roy had left. She was just dozing off again when there was a loud crash from the kitchen!

As you can imagine, Maggie was mad now. What did that man think he was doing? She threw the covers off the bed and pounded her feet on the wooden floor, dressed only in her long johns, mind you, intent on raising some knots on Roy’s sorry behind. She would teach that lecherous pup a lesson he wouldn’t forget anytime soon!

She rushed into the kitchen and grabbed the handiest club from the cooking stove, a heavy cast iron skillet, and turned to face Roy. She was going to teach that man a lesson he wouldn’t forget!

Only it wasn’t Roy.

It was a grizzly bear.

A five-hundred-pound grizzly bear!

Well, that didn't stop Aunt Maggie, not even one second. When you are already angry, there isn’t any sense letting a perfectly good mad go to waste, so she attacked that prowling, Easter grizzly bear with the frying pan!

Yes, yelling and shouting, Maggie attacked - not with a gun - but with a vengeance and a cast iron skillet!

“Get out of my house, bear!” Maggie shouted. And with every word, she clobbered that bear with her deadly frying pan! Wham! Kerpow! Bang! Bam! Smash! went the frying pan! The bear was terrified. It was sure little old Aunt Maggie was trying to tenderize him for Easter dinner!

And do you know what that big bad bear did? Yes, it did the only sensible thing it could do; it got out of Aunt Maggie’s house and didn’t come back!

An Easter prayer you can pray all year

Lord, please help me to be as always determined to do the right thing, just as Aunt Maggie was determined to get that bear out of her house. Inspire me! I can’t help but laugh when I think of that little old lady attacking that big bad bear. Yes, I have an idea the grizzly thought the little human was going to eat him! Please take care of me, Papa God. And Lord, O Holy God, my forever friend, I thank you for not only being willing to prove your great love by willingly dying for me but for rising again in glorious victory, that I may have eternal life. In Jesus' most wonderful and Holy name, I ask it, Amen

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Editor's Note: We have included this story in with our other "fiction & creative writing" stories, as it is the start of the Saga of Maggie stories. While most of this episode above is true as written, it is generously seasoned with creative license.

The Apopka Voice will be publishing other fiction pieces by local authors and favorites who enjoy creatively exploring this literary realm. To see more stories of this nature, enter "Fiction" in our site's search bar and click on "Fiction & Creative Writing". If you would like to submit a fiction piece to be considered and are local to Apopka, please submit your selection to editor@theapopkavoice.com.

Charles Towne, in his own words, is first and foremost a Christian. An octogenarian, author, journalist, wildlife photographer, naturalist, caregiver, and survivor, his life has been, and continues to be, a never-ending adventure filled with possibilities never imagined. He has adopted the philosophy that living fully, laughing uproariously, loving passionately, and learning like there is no tomorrow, is a formula for a long and joy-filled life.