Faith & Inspiration

By Charles Towne

Maggie was her name. Margaret F. Moultrie to be precise. But folks that knew her called her Aunt Maggie.

Now, I want you to understand that Maggie was not your average, run of the mill, sweet little old lady. Huh uh. She was in her later, irascible eighties, stood about five feet tall, weighed something less than 110 pounds, and lived by herself in the Alaska bush.

That she was independent went without saying.

She pretty well lived off the land, shooting wild game for meat, cutting wood for fuel, and pretty well proving that she could fend for herself. Aunt Maggie had outlived three husbands and several relationships, but now she preferred her own company, at least for the most part. But she did have a boyfriend. A young buck by the name of Roy, in his early seventies.

Roy lived in the town of Valdez. He preferred the city life, but he and Maggie got together a couple of times a month to socialize.

However, as I already pointed out, Maggie preferred to live by herself for the most part.  She claimed, with a laugh mind you, that she had never lost an argument with herself! And when Roy got frisky and began clamoring for some kissing (and what Aunt Maggie called that “other stuff”!), she would set his belongings outside and send him packing back to town; after all, she wasn’t about to put up with any of his hanky-panky!

Yes. Aunt Maggie was quite the gal!

One bright Spring day – it was on Good Friday – Roy had outlasted his welcome again, and Aunt Maggie had chased his sorry behind off down the trail, again.

Well, that night Maggie woke from a deep sleep to hear somebody moving around in the kitchen. “Roy, what are you dong out there?” she hollered. “If you ever expect to see another new day you’ll get yourself gone now, ya hear me!”

It got real quiet for a few minutes and Maggie thought Roy had left. She was just dozing off again, when there was a loud crash from the kitchen!

As you can imagine Maggie was mad now. What did that man think he was doing! She threw the covers off the bed and pounded her feet on the wooden floor, dressed only in her long johns mind you, intent on raising some knots on Roy’s sorry behind. She would teach that lecherous pup a lesson he wouldn’t forget anytime soon!

She rushed into the kitchen and grabbed the handiest club from the cooking stove, a heavy cast iron skillet, and turned to face Roy. She was going to teach that man a lesson he wouldn’t forget!

Only it wasn’t Roy.

It was a grizzly bear.

A five hundred pound grizzly bear!

Well, that didn’t stop Aunt Maggie, not even one second. When you are already angry, there isn’t any sense letting a perfectly good mad go to waste; so she attacked that prowling, Easter grizzly bear with the frying pan!

Yes, yelling and shouting Maggie attacked – not with a gun – but with a vengeance and a cast iron skillet!

“Get out of my house bear!”  Maggie shouted. And with every word she clobbered that bear with her deadly frying pan! Wham! Kerpow! Bang! Bam! Smash! went the frying pan! The bear was terrified. It was sure little old Aunt Maggie was trying to tenderize him for Easter dinner!

And do you know what that big bad bear did? Yes, it did the only sensible thing it could do; it got out of Aunt Maggie’s house and didn’t come back!

An Easter prayer you can pray all year

Lord, please help me to be as determined to always do the right thing, just as Aunt Maggie was determined in getting that bear out of her house. Inspire me! I can’t help but laugh when I think of that little old lady attacking that big bad bear. Yes, I have an idea the grizzly thought the little human was going to eat him! Please take care of me Papa God.  And Lord, O Holy God, my forever friend, I thank you for not only being willing to prove your great love by willingly dying for me, but for rising again in glorious victory, that I may have eternal life. In Jesus’ most wonderful and Holy name I ask it, Amen

 


Charles Towne is first and foremost a Christian. An octogenarian, author, journalist, wildlife photographer, naturalist, caregiver, and survivor, his life has been and continues to be, a never-ending adventure filled with possibilities never imagined. He has adopted the philosophy that to Live fully, laugh uproariously, love passionately, and learn like there is no tomorrow, is a formula for a long and joy-filled life.

25 COMMENTS

  1. I Love Aunt Maggie…she’s quite the gal! Once again, you have brought a smile and laugh to me this early Easter morning. What a beautiful gift you have given me, my dear friend.
    Happy Easter!

  2. NH, isn’t it the truth? Aunt Maggie was EXTRA ORDINARY! and just perhaps her purpose in life was to show what courage looks like! Bless you and your guy, Chaz

  3. Charles, I laughed and laughed. Aunt Maggie was a human wolverine, scaring off much larger prey. Your articles need to be collected for another book. Blessed Easter and many more. Cheering you on!

  4. Doc, I am pleased mightily that you enjoyed Aunt Maggie. Another book is a very good idea! Bless you both, Chaz

  5. I heard that Aunt Maggie (usually a sweet little old lady) got trapped in some quick-sand one time and got so mad the quick-sand spit her out on solid ground! When you scare quick-sand you sure are tough! And that is all I have to say about that, Chaz

  6. I’ve known an Aunt Maggie. We called her Aunt Lizzie. She ran a forty acres grape vineyard. Hand pump for water for the house and a big wood stove for cooking when everyone else had electric or gas, but oh, oh, oh did her home made bread taste good. Yep, I can see her chasing a bear with an iron skillet because nobody in the neighborhood messed with her. She was one of my favorite people when I was growing up.

  7. Jorge, when I think of Aunt Maggie she makes me think of the prophets of old. Nobody messed with them for long either. The Aunt Maggies and the Aunt Lizzies of this world must be pretty special in Papa God’s sight! Bless you my friend. Chaz

  8. Very entertaining story. Thank you. But to be honest, I was as amused by Roy as I was about Aunt Maggie. Will we be hearing more about Roy in the future?

    Have a wonderful resurrection Sunday!

    EdG

  9. EdGreen, my experiences with Roy have proven that he is as unique in his own right as Maggie is in hers! Definitely more coming! You stay safe, Chaz

  10. Lololol….bet that bear had some stories to tell when he got home!!
    I can see it now, all the little bears sittin’ around while PaPa Bear tells how he was trying to get some delicious grub to bring home.
    About the time he thought he was going to “grab and run”, some CRAZY human came after him screaming and yelling, hitting him with a fryin’ pan. Probably scared the hide right off the whole bear family! Looking forward to more Aunt Maggie stories!!
    Thanks Chuck…have a blessed Easter day!!

  11. CSG, AND THAT AINT THE HALF OF IT! That bear was moving so fast when he left Maggie he overtook Roy on the trail, and when the bear told Roy that Aunt Maggie was on the rampage with that heavy cast iron skillet Roy thought she was coming after him, and he lit out of there so fast he ran right over that grizzly bear! When the bear got home he told his family that he had been attacked by two crazy humans that day. poor bear! Chaz

  12. This was a wonderful story! I absolutely love it. Aunt Maggie is a trip! Kind of reminds me of myself! Hahaha! This story was very entertaining! Never stop writing your short stories! They put the biggest smile on my face. You are such an amazing individual Charles. Thank you for being such a blessing in our life. We love you.

    -Maya and Leo

    • O Maya and Leo, what a joy you bring into my life! How could I possibly age when I have young friends like you in my life to keep me young. Love you back dear ones! Chaz

  13. Ah my friend, your story made me laugh and also brought back some memories! Years ago while in the military, I was talking with an ” operator” which is a man trained to stare danger and death in the eye and laugh and he told me, that it was entirely possible to scare an angry man, no matter how angry he seemed, but in the entire history of mankind, no-one had ever been able to scare an angry woman! NOONE not EVER! I guess if a grizzly bear couldn’t do it, he was telling me the truth!

  14. Richard, it just goes to prove that if a challenge is faced when it is fresh, it is easier to overcome. If Aunt Maggie had approached that bear with fear? Well, it might have ended with different consequences! But then, we are talking about Aunt Maggie aren’t we? It is good to laugh isn’t it? Bless you my dear friend, Chaz

  15. Once Again My Little BrO, wonderful story that reminds my childhood in the farms with my Granules, my Uncles and elder people that taught you real wild life … Amazing, Plus !!!
    GoD Bless You ChucK and keep smiling people with your beautiful example !!!

  16. Aunt Maggie was not the kind of person you would want to cross and it seemed that Roy got the message but the grizzly took some convincing. Great story sir.

  17. Mike McFadden, I am sorry that you all see Aunt Maggie as some sort of tough cookie when in reality she is an absolutely gentle soul! I believe there is a little of her in each of us There is also a small amount of the grizzly, and a small amount of Rascally Roy hiding there also. We are all failed goods, but with an incredible potential for good also! Bless you dear folks, Chaz

  18. Chuck, I want to thank you for the inspirational story and the reminder that there is strength in all of us to accomplish what seems to be the impossible if we just get our fears out of the way and trust. In the world we live in today I think we need more stories like this one, more stories that bring a smile and a chuckle, more stories to remind us to laugh a little and be grateful for all that we have been blessed with. Even if we don’t realize at the time we are always given the tools we need (frying pan) we just have to reach for them. Adding your Easter prayer was a beautiful way to end your story.

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