By Charles Towne 

I was lying there in peaceful slumber.  I was so tired and the bed was so comfortable.  I was just dozing off when Nancy spoke to me.




“Yah honey.”




“Yes Nanny, what?”

“Do you hear that noise?”

“What noise?”

“That noise!”

“What noise? I don’t hear any noise.”

“That chirping noise!”

(I lay very still listening into the darkness.  My sweet, darling wife was wide awake anxious for me to wake up so that I could enjoy “the chirping noise” with her.)

She thinks that I have gone back to sleep.

I would like to go back to sleep but no such luck.



“Do you hear the chirping noise Charles?”

“Not yet.”


(This from a woman who would not hear Genghis Kahn and his hordes if they were to race across our bed on horseback!”)

And yes, you might notice a tad, just a tad mind you, of sarcasm there.

I lean toward the fan and listen intently.  Eureka! I hear a faint sound that just might be described as a “chirping” noise.  In fact, to be very honest, it does sound like a “chirping noise.”

Yes, the “chirping noise” is coming from the fan.

I get out of bed, stumble over the cat, and walk to the offending fan and smack it.

“Why did you hit the fan Charles?”

“The “chirping noise” is coming from the fan.”

“Will hitting it help?”

“At this point it can’t hurt.”


The diabolical fan chirps at me in defiance.

I pick up the fan and set it down a little more firmly than I intend.  The fan is a very smart fan; it takes the hint and stops chirping.

I crawl back into bed and lay there listening and staring into the darkness.  I am wide-awake.  I expect my dear, sweet Nancy to say something, ANYTHING.  No such luck.  She is sleeping, snoring in fact.  I lay there listening to her snoring.  The insidious thought comes into my mind, “I wonder if she would stop snoring if I gave her a good solid smack on the butt?”  The thought causes me to laugh.  Nancy wakes up and asks, “Why are you laughing Charles?”

“Just that confounded chirping noise, it’s keeping me awake!”

She lies there listening into the darkness, straining to hear the phantom chirping noise.

“What chirping noise?”

“Can’t you hear it?”

“Hear what?”

“The chirping noise.”

She sits up in bed.

“I don’t hear a chirping noise.”

“Oh, it stopped, go back to sleep.”


“Uh huh.”

“I can’t hear a chirping noise.”

“It stopped honey.”

“What was making the chirping noise Charles?”

“Probably a cricket,”

: If it was a cricket, why did it stop chirping.”

“It probably went to sleep.”


“Yes honey.”

“Do crickets sleep?”


“Yeah, sure. Everything sleeps.  Say, that’s a good idea; why don’t you go back to sleep now sweetie pie?”


A few minutes later.



“The cricket is making so much noise I can’t sleep!”

(Now I ask you, how can my cricket, the one I created in the dark, slimy subterranean caverns of my perverse mind, keep her awake?)

I sit up in bed, straining to hear the cricket.


“I can’t hear any cricket.”

I lay back down, close my eyes.



“The cricket is keeping me awake honey!”

(I am strongly considering strangling the cricket.)

“Charles, please do something about the cricket!”

I lunge out of bed, grabbing a shoe from the floor as I do so.  I am quite sure my eyes are glazed as I leap to the end of the bed and begin flailing the floor with the shoe.  (Drastic situations call for drastic measures!)

“Die cricket, die!”  I shout in a maniacal fury

Wham, bam, smack, bash, bang!

Finally, I stand in the darkness of the bedroom victorious.  Between thumb and forefinger of my left hand, I hold an imaginary cricket. I raise the invisible cricket and declare him vanquished.  I walk into the bathroom, raise the toilet lid with a flourish, and with much aplomb, drop the imaginary cricket into the bowl, and flush.

“There, the cricket is dead at last!”

Now I can get some sleep.

Nancy doesn’t say anything, probably scared of being smacked with a shoe and flushed down the toilet.

I crawl back into bed and close my eyes.  I am falling into a comfortable oblivion when…




“What Nancy, another cricket?”

“No honey, I just wanted to say thanks for killing the cricket.”

Do I detect a trace of laughter in her tone?

“You are welcome Sweetie, please go to sleep now.”


I lay there smiling in the silence.  I am probably smiling as I close my eyes in peaceful sleep.


Dear Lord, Holy Father, Papa God, please help me to see the humor in any and all situations. Help me to appreciate my spouse while she is still here to be appreciated and to be there for her and to love her with an undying love.  Praise you Father, praise you.  In Jesus’ holy and beautiful name, Amen

Dear reader and friend, please watch for my forthcoming book; WHO CARES?  It contains a collection of short easy to read vignettes from my life taking care of my precious lady.  This book is written by a caregiver for caregivers.  Thanks oodles, Chaz

P.S.  What is an oodle?

Charles Towne is first and foremost a Christian. An octogenarian, author, journalist, wildlife photographer, naturalist, caregiver, and survivor, his life has been and continues to be, a never-ending adventure filled with possibilities never imagined. He has adopted the philosophy that to Live fully, laugh uproariously, love passionately, and learn like there is no tomorrow, is a formula for a long and joy-filled life.


  1. Yes…humor and prayer! 2 REQUIRED ingredients for a lasting AND happy marriage 🙂 thank you for reminding all of us Charles!

  2. Can’t wait to read the book! Love how you find a way to highlight the love and humor that you and Nancy show. God bless you and yours Chuck.


  3. It was a delightful article, especially considering the circumstances. When we can
    see the humor in our problems
    and not get bogged down in the
    mire, that is when we truly live
    each day to the fullest.
    Thank you for sharing about your darling wife. God bless you!

  4. Don, I can’t wait to see it happen! Soon, very soon. I believe it will bless a lot of people. Blessings on you and yours, Chaz

  5. Dear CSG, isn’t life grand? Praise God, I am at the point in my life where I can see humor in almost anything. You take care now ya hear, Chaz

  6. I love the creative and humorous ways you’ve found to make the best of things! I like to imagine that that is very endearing and pleasing to God. 🙂

  7. Kristin, I suppose it is something that Papa God finds pleasing. We need to always remember that what you say really is what you get! Blessings on you and yours, Chaz

  8. Oh, the chirp chirp isn’t in Italian or English, either language, it is the smoke detector, when the battery has started running down and needs replaced, or you can take a shoe to it, and smack it and kill it if you prefer…lol

    • Dear Mama Mia, I’ve missed you here! I would point out that Chaz is too short to reach a smoke detector! Picture him running around barefoot, carrying a ladder with his shoes draped over his sholder!

  9. I love the scenes you paint, it’s like going back and watching a ’50’s sitcom! I love how you point out that keeping a sense of humor can make the difference in how well you handle any given situation. Being a caregiver has many pitfalls and often it is only humor that keeps you on an even keel and enables you to avoid becoming bitter or discouraged! God bless you Chaz and may you always keep the laughter!

  10. Richard ol’ pal, I am glad you like the articles! As the old saying goes, “If I didn’t laugh I would cry.” Norman Cousins wrote a book on the therapeutic value of laughter. It is too bad he only wrote one book ’cause that one was pretty darned good. You have a good day now and keep finding the laughter ya hear, Chaz

  11. Richard, Richard, Richard! Short? Short, did you say short? How could you say such a thing? I want you to know that I resemble that comment ’cause I am only short on one end and my hairy footses still reach the ground, Chaz


Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here