By Charles Towne
Are you and I doomed? Are we destined to continue in self-defeating behavior, and thoughts of unworthiness? Is there no hope?
My father and I were never very close. He always left me with the feeling that no matter what I did with my life I could never live up to his expectations.
I would never be good enough, smart enough, strong enough, for him to say, “That’s good son, I am proud of you!”
What I have discovered is a feeling of inferiority is an ugly lie, a piece of dark art promulgated upon the innocent almost at birth. Daddy has been dead now for several years and in the passing of time, I have concluded that he wasn’t so disappointed with me as he was with himself. I will never forget the moment when I was finally able to forgive him and at the same time able to realize that I was worth something besides his curses and anger.
You will likely imagine me a tad strange when I tell you that my life began to change the night that God spoke to me. Yeah, he really spoke to me.
Dad was visiting with me here in Florida and one evening he became angry. I don’t remember what it was that set him off but after cursing at me, Furious, his face dark with rage, he disowned me, packed his belongings, stalked out, and drove away. Several years passed, he died. Oh yeah, God spoke to me on that miserable night of anger and fury. I went to bed after my father left and laid there in the darkness feeling so wretched, so miserable, and I called out to God, and I said, “God, am I destined to live this life repeating my father’s mistakes?”
Praise Him, He heard me.
I fell asleep, and as I slept He spoke to me. His words are etched upon my brain, my D.N.A., my very soul. “Son, you do not inherit the weaknesses of your earthly parents but the potential of your heavenly father.”
The Jews, His chosen, called Him Abba, a term of endearment, and ever since that night I call Him Papa. I have arrived at the point in my life when I believe that it is not destiny, fate or luck, it is a decision, a conscious choice that determines who we are. No, it doesn’t happen all at once but praise God, I am a different man today because of my focus because I yearn for the character of Jesus to be pronounced in me.
Oh, and by the way, I believe that before papa died mama led him to Jesus. What a merciful God we serve.
Love God, and make a difference, today
Charles Towne is first and foremost a Christian. An octogenarian, author, journalist, wildlife photographer, naturalist, caregiver, and survivor, his life has been and continues to be, a never-ending adventure filled with possibilities never imagined. He has adapted the philosophy that to Live fully, laugh uproariously, love passionately, and learn like there is no tomorrow, is a formula for a long and joy filled life.