Inspiration

By Charles Towne 

The cat’s curmudgeon



“Only my cats really understand me. It would probably be good for us to recognize the undeniable fact that Cats rule!”


-Charles Towne

A friend said to me, “I love my cats so much, why, I wouldn’t take a million dollars for them!”
We had just finished eating dinner and were sitting in the living room relaxing when the doorbell rang.

On the way to the door, I glanced out the window and couldn’t help but be surprised to see a white Rolls Royce limousine parked in front of our humble abode.

When I answered the door, there stood a very distinguished looking couple; probably in their mid-fifties.

The man, a right friendly sort, without any preamble, got down to the reason for their visit.

“Hello, Mr. Towne, my name is Nathan Farthingale, and this is my wife Doris. We are here to purchase your cats.”

Well as you can imagine, I laughed.  I mean, I wasn’t about to sell my cats and I told him as much.
“I am sorry; Mr. Farthingale is it?  But there must be some terrible mistake, our cats aren’t for sale.”

“Oh no, there is no mistake.”  He went on, “We heard about your incredible cats and without even seeing them we decided that we must have them, no matter the cost.”

You probably won’t believe it when I tell you that I laughed in Mr. Farthingale’s face as I said, “O.K., what’s the joke? Who sent you here?”

This time Doris Farthingale spoke up. “Oh, rest assured Mr. Towne, this is no joke, and as my husband has already said, there is no mistake.  We have heard of your wonderful cats and we have made up our minds, we absolutely must have the adorable creatures.”

Well, to make a long story short, I invited the Farthingales into our home, after all, it was the least I could do.

They had no more than made themselves comfortable when all three of our cats shamelessly descended upon our guests like a feline plague.

Our large Morris cat jumped up into Nathan Farthingale’s lap and began shedding blond cat hair all over his very expensive black suit, while another draped itself over the back of his chair and began purring so loudly it threatened to drown out our conversation.  The remaining cat sat in Doris Farthingale’s lap and began kneading her arm and purring as it gazed into her eyes hypnotically.

What the heck was going on?  Our cats were never this friendly!  Was it a conspiracy?  Were our cats actually looking for a new home?

“Oh Nathan,” Doris Farthingale crooned, “Aren’t they wonderful?  We must have them! I simply won’t take no for an answer.”

About this time as you can imagine my wife and I were becoming very uncomfortable, I mean, after all, these were our babies, our friends, our kitties, and we love them very much.

Nathan Farthingale reached into his coat pocket and pulled out a roll of bills large enough to choke the proverbial Clydesdale as he said, “Mr. Towne, Mrs. Towne, I will pay you five thousand dollars for your cats.

I glanced at my wife and then looked at Nathan Farthingale.  “Mr. Farthingale, I am very sorry but the cats are not for sale.”

And with hardly a pause Farthingale said, “Oh pardon me, I meant five thousand dollars… apiece!”

Mrs. Farthingale suddenly exclaimed, “Nathan Farthingale, you stop this bickering over pennies this instant and make these lovely folks an offer they can’t refuse, we must have these wonderful Kitties.”

At this admonition from his wife Nathan Farthingale smiled sheepishly and said, “Oh, alright, fifty thousand dollars for each cat, and if you don’t mind we will pay cash. Well, to make a long story short, being cat lovers and all we naturally turned the Farthingale’s offer down.  After all, you can’t put a price on the love that only a cat can give. Can you?

And then I woke up.

You have a nice day now, and may your cats teach you.

  A CAT LOVER’S PRAYER


“Dear Papa God, Is the devotion our cats display toward us an expression of your unreasonable love for us?  Yes, unreasonable, because no matter how hard I try I can’t rationalize myself as worthy of your infinite grace and love.  Just how much do you love each of us?  And how can we be worthy of such love?  As we are so far above our cats, so are you infinitely above us, and yet in my heart of hearts, I have no doubt that you love me.  What lessons can we learn from these creatures that you have entrusted to us?  Help us to be worthy of their love, devotion, and trust so that we can devote our lives to you in pure love and undying trust.  Thank you so very much, in Jesus’ Holy and wonderful name I ask it, Amen.”

P.S. And Papa God, please don’t allow The Farthingales to come knocking at our door because no matter how much I love our cats that is, after all, an awful lot of money!

Amen.


 

Charles Towne is first and foremost a Christian. An octogenarian, author, journalist, wildlife photographer, naturalist, caregiver, and survivor, his life has been and continues to be, a never-ending adventure filled with possibilities never imagined. He has adopted the philosophy that to Live fully, laugh uproariously, love passionately, and learn like there is no tomorrow, is a formula for a long and joy-filled life.

17 COMMENTS

  1. Great article! 50,000 dollars, huh? Well, if they knock on your door again, send them my way. lol…just joking. I love my cranky, fur ball, too. What would we do without them? Happy Easter Charles!

  2. Dear NH, this morning Hercules, my alpha cat, came to me with a lovely gift, a slightly used and totally deactivated cameleon, sans tail, that was, overall, a tad worse for wear. One thing that I have come to realize is that Papa God always gives good gifts. Many blessings to you and yours my dear friend, Chaz

    Thank you Papa God for giving us Jesus, Jesus who died for each of us, and was raised again into Glory, that we may have the great gift of life eternal! Help each of us to be a blessing to everyone we meet. We love you Father. In Jesus wonderful and blessed name I ask it, Amen

  3. And here I thought I was the only one who had thise type of dreams! Awesome article as always Chuck, Happy Easter!

  4. Yeppir, and there are these cute little kitty tracks all over the litterbox of my mind! Blessings to you and yours my young friend, Chaz

  5. Entertaining dream! Glad you didn’t sell your cats to the Farthingale’s. Then your interpretation and prayer would have been much different, eh? We are so lucky to have our furry little creatures and their unconditional love. I hope the Farthingale’s don’t come knocking at my door. Ha ha.

  6. Kristin, aint it the truth? Wouldn’t it be wonderful if people were as good to other people as they are to their pets? Sure, there are cases of abuse and neglect but overall we treat our pets responsibly. Don’t we? I wonder, do you suppose a person’s character could be calculated by the way they treat their pets? I mean, if a person is cruel or inconsiderate to their pets might that be a determining factor in the way they treat other human folks? Just wondering ’cause it just makes sense to me. Blessings on you dear one, Chaz

    And Lord, please protect us from the likes of the Farthingales with all their money ’cause $50.000 per Katt is an awful lot of money! Amen

  7. Dear Chuck….amusingly truthful. You know cats “rule the roost”…at least mine do.
    They love to share their hunting skills with us by bringing their creatures to our doorstep. Interesting animals and interesting people who own them……or do they own us? Thank you for the humor.
    May God continue to bless you daily.

  8. Dear CSG, One thing I have learned in my life is that Papa God blesses us with wonderful gifts. His word declares this: “If you ask your father for a loaf of bread, would he give give you a serpent?” And then it continues, “Therefore, if your earthly father knows how to give good gifts, how much more does your Father in heaven know how to give good gifts?” Concerning the serpent thing, my big Morris cat gifted me with a coral snake one time minus it’s head. Yes, a wonderful creature is le pussy katt. Thanks for the comment, Chaz

  9. Dogs have masters and cats have staff. There is nothing better at waking a person up from a half asleep walk to the bathroom in the middle of the night than a big juicy hair ball strategically placed by one of our furry creatures. We have rescued many over the years and each has a very unique personality. One thing we have learned in life is that money can’t buy everything but it sure does pay vet, food and litter bills for the “staff” to keep up with our four legged friends.

  10. Mike, each of my katts insist that I refer to them as the boss of boss’s, El Jeffe, Your highness, Your royal highness, the chief, sir, mam, etc. etc. etc. They all refer to me as, “Hey you!” when they are feeling charitable. I don’t really mind this subjugation because it keeps me humble. Excuse me, his royal highness is summoning me so I have to go clean the litter box. Chaz

  11. OK, I am not the best “cat person” around, at best, cats tolerate us as long as we are useful to them! The fact that we find them so lovable may be a strange lesson as to why we are loved! I am almost certain that at times my parents would have sold my brothers and myself to the Farthingdale without a second thought but I am not so sure about the cats and dogs! Still kind of unsure about that rating system!

  12. Richard ol pal, it is a sad statement when your folks would sell you and keep the pets! But then you and I would have been out of luck because the Farthingales wouldn’t have paid a premium price for either one of us. It’s like the gypsies when they kidnapped me, they had to pay the gypsies to take me back! Oh well, such is life on the crazy farm. Chaz

  13. Chaz as I remember, mom often threatened to GIVE us to the gypsies, so I’m pretty sure if the Farthingdales had offered anything, it would have been gratefully accepted! The life of young boys isn’t always as easy as a cat’s although mom did feed us both!!!!

  14. Remember pal, the Farthingales were only a dream but those darned gypsies were a very real danger. And as I remember we never would have gotten away with hacking up hairballs and leaving them on the floor for my good old pater to step in! Yeah, the katts had it much easier. Come to think about it though I sure do miss the folks. Nostalgically yours, Chaz

    P.S. You were fed?

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